Nothing Like Good Dirt

The garden is my passion. I fall in love with it and then have a break up in July when it's too hot. We always make amends in the fall. There is something healing and deep working in the soil. Maybe it is the child in me, who likes to get dirty. I doubt it though. That would limit the exchange that I have with the land, sitting on my stool and working to create a place of beauty for reflection.

Virginia soil is pretty much red clay. We've brought in a number of trailers full of dirt. This load was particularly rich and full of dark color. My husband told me it was leaf compost. Leaf compost made sense. The best dirt, is the one that has broken down the natural growth through time and rain and heat to get the nutrients that the plant borrowed back into the ground.

Shoveling and hauling the compost to fill my newest rose garden, I began to think about composting and forgiveness. We've all been hurt by those we trust. It's part of the human condition. Waiting for someone to say they are sorry can be like Horton waiting for Lazy Maisy to return to her nest. So what do I do with the hurt and the need to acknowledge the fact that I have been wronged?

I am learning to will my will to forgive. Like the rain that breaks down the fallen leaves, I need to consciously redirect my thoughts when they wish to nurture heartache. I'm not ignoring the fact that I hurt. I am acknowledging and choosing to let go. For the soil to be enriched, the leaf must let go of what it once was for new life to be sustained and grow.

This Good Friday, I consider the heat that Jesus experienced. He prayed in the garden, not my will but His father's will. He went before false accusers who humiliated Him, caused pain that would crush me, and then, according to the Greek translation of the word, as they nailed Him to the cross, Jesus continued to repeat, "Forgive them" over and over. With each hammer's blow, His words were of forgiveness. That was the mantra that He focused on to get through the pain until it was time to let it all go and claim it is finished.

While I am not superhuman, I can continue to focus on what is really important. For mercy to grow, I need to share mercy with others. For love to blossom, I need to dig deep and love those who are broken much like myself. I need to will my will like the shovel moving the dirt to let go and live free.

Peace be with you and Happy Easter!